Day 3 of Chemo
Well here we are, day 3 of chemotherapy treatment. It’s still surreal. I wake up every time in total shock. I sleep in his bed because every time we touch I just feel so much comfort.
We walked away from our life completely on Monday afternoon. Everything stopped. Our room looks out into the city and everyone still goes to work, still goes to restaurants, lives their life, and our life is here now. Our life is in a hospital room that can go from totally chaos one minute to eerie silence the next.
Davis goes through all the emotions throughout the day. One minute he is sweet, the next he is spunky and trying to pinch the nurse with his grabber toy. Ha! He is the most courageous boy I have ever known. He tells the nurses and doctors what to do. He does not lack assertiveness, that’s for sure!
Every time the door opens we all feel our stomachs turn just a bit. I’ve learned the schedule of the different doctors that filter in and out of here every day. I can sense in my body when we are getting closer to the next visit. The next visit that I might learn yet one more thing that is different in our lives, one more reality that takes the breath out of me.
I miss my Lily so much. Every time she walks into the room my heart feels lighter. She feels like home. And then something happens that I have to attend to and our time together is lost. She is being swept up into the chaotic world of cancer; we all have been swept up into the chaotic world of cancer.
It’s amazing the decisions you face in a crisis like this. Our priorities have changed. We have prepared to make sacrifices that we never imagined. The Lord has chosen us to shift our focus to the things that matter most right now; caring for Davis and Lily with everything we have during this season.
Everything comes and goes, and so will this cancer. Davis is an amazing strong, healthy, silly, caring, feisty boy who has a temporary cancer issue. Lily is a strong, smart, compassionate, loving, silly girl who has a brother that temporarily has cancer.
Adding to everything else, Lance has a herniated disk and is facing back surgery. Yes, you read that right. Feel free to go back and read it again. This is our reality. I remember hearing stories like mine in passing throughout my life and thinking “how are they surviving?”, “I couldn’t do it”. These are lies. God created us to step into our life in boldness and confidence in Him. I’m here to tell you, you can face anything with the power of Christ. Even when my legs don’t hold me up and I’m weeping and mourning, the Lord is mourning this with me. He weeps with us in our sorrows and rejoices with us in our celebrations.
I ask that when you hear our story you would not believe lies that you couldn’t make it through something like this. But rather consider that God created you in His image. And if that’s the case, then it is endless what you can endure. He is our sustainer and where we find our confidence. He loves Davis more than us, which is unfathomable.
Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”
-Amanda
